found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
