Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
