TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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