just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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