There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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