there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
