Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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