Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
