i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
