Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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