he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
