In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He better not be in your backpack
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
