My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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