Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
