$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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