Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
