yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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