Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We talked him into tasing himself.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can't put those talents on a resume
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?