Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
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His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.