Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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