Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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