My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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