i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
