Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
