The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
