either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
