should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
