youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
