Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
