At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
