I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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