cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
