Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize