Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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