Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
