Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You need Xanax blowdarts
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
