I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
