You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
