He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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