She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
