Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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