the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
