the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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