wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
