i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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