Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
time to smoke my breakfast
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
