were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
