I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
