Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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