You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
