Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
