he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize