no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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