was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
