its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
