I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize