So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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