You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We just shotgunned beers for America
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
